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The Power of Why

If you have spent any time with a toddler, you are familiar with the popular question, "why?" Children have this beautiful curiosity and inquisitive nature about them. They really do just want to know why, and why, and why, and why. There is a sense of accomplishment when you finally satisfy the long list of whys and the toddler responds with, "okay."

Later in life, when these toddlers become teenagers, this question comes back around - yet this time it is said with a little more attitude and a little less innocence. My favorite was always, "why do I have to learn this?" As a math teacher, I got this question a lot. I tried many things to get the "okay" - I probably threw in a because I said so in a moment of weakness. *hangs head in shame*  Sometimes, I feel as though I misguided some students, (because really, why do we have to know the relationship between the long leg and hypotenuse of a 30-60-90 triangle?) however, I know now that carrots do not give me x-ray vision - which was my mom's answer to "why do I have to eat these?" - so I don't feel too bad about it. But over the years, I fine tuned my answer to focus on the bigger picture skills: problem solving, critical thinking, applying knowledge to a different context, developing grit, and putting forth effort in things that you might not like or see as difficult. We prepare our students for more than next week or next year, we prepare them for the rest of their lives.

Little did I know, that when working with adults, I would still hear that question of "why?"

Why do we have to write lesson plans?
Why do we have to plan so much?
Why do we have to fill out this reflection form?
Why do we have to go to the meeting?
Why do we have to do it that way?
Why do we have to...

Originally, I thought these questions of why were asked from the teenager mindset, I thought adults were asking out of defiance. But I really think they are questions asked from the toddler mindset. Adults want to know why we do things the way we do them. I really cannot fall back on because the principal said so, so I need to have the answers for these questions.

As a leader on campus, it is important to not only have a clear vision for yourself and team, but also to be able to communicate it to your staff. This will create a culture that shares the same vision rather than a staff going through the motions of implementing an administrative vision. When teachers buy in and own it themselves, it becomes a game changer on campus. That goes back to trust between teachers and administration, built upon open and honest communication. Do not shy away from the why! Let your staff keep asking why until they are satisfied, not placated, but satisfied with the why.

Thinking back to the long string of toddler why questions, it would be great if that final okay came from the response to 'because that is what is best for kids.' But often, that creates another why.
Why is that strategy best for kids?
Why does that reflection form benefit the kids?
Why is that way better than how I've always done it?
Remember, your response should not be defensive because they are not asking as a defiant teenager. Instead, respond with the patience and clarity you would have with an inquisitive toddler.



Why is the most powerful question you can ask. Ask your students why, ask each other why, ask your administrators why. Why is also the most powerful question you can answer. It requires deep understanding in order to communicate your message with clarity. Sometimes this question can alter your own views and sometimes it can persuade others to alter theirs.

What will you say?



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